Chapter 8 – Weddings

Chapter Summary

Weddings are both a massive industry, and a powerful ritual. In this chapter, we use the case study of weddings to think sociologically about the family. We focus in particular on the “white wedding” phenomenon of big dresses, bridesmaids, multi-leveled wedding cakes, and luxury honeymoons. The popularity of white weddings—and the related growth of a billion-dollar wedding industry—suggests a vital connection between our romantic ideals, prevalent understandings of masculinity and femininity, and escalating consumption standards. Studying wedding rituals also allows us to explore key concepts in the sociology of the family: marriage, romantic love, the nuclear family, social reproduction, the second shift and heteronormativity. We investigate changing norms around marriage, including the legalization and legitimation of gay marriage. We also consider how the white wedding operates ideologically to obscure inequalities related to gender, sexuality, class, and race.

Further Reading

Purbrick, Louise. 2016. The Wedding Present. Chapter 4, “The List: Domesticity, Conformity, and Class.” Routledge.

This chapter examines the evolution of wedding gift lists between 1945 and 2003 from informal exchanges to commercialized, systematic registries. Originally, lists were organized by the bride’s family, reflecting close community ties, but later evolved into prescriptive formats driven by bridal magazines and commercial retailers. This shift highlights the influence of consumer culture on wedding practices, positioning brides as “project managers” of their own weddings and encouraging an embrace of luxury items. Through this transformation, gift lists reinforce class distinctions, redefine weddings as consumer events, and shape ideals of domesticity.

Fraser, Nancy. 2017. “Crisis of Care? On the Social-Reproductive Contradictions of Contemporary Capitalism.” In Social Reproduction Theory: Remapping Class, Recentering Oppression, edited by Tithi Bhattacharya, 21-36. Pluto Press.

Nancy Fraser explores the “crisis of care” as a symptom of deeper social-reproductive contradictions within capitalism. She argues that the systemic strain on caregiving and social reproduction is an inherent issue within capitalism, intensified in today’s financialized neoliberal economy. As capitalism prioritizes profit, it destabilizes essential social reproductive labour–including raising children, caregiving, and maintaining households–while relying on it for sustained growth. Although capitalism often relies on women’s labour for social reproduction, it also creates inequalities among women by shifting the burdens of unpaid social reproduction disproportionately onto poorer, racialized, and migrant women.

Lennox, Rebecca. 2024. “The Only Self-Defense I Have is My Wedding Band: Doing Heterosexuality, Evading Gender Harassment, and Becoming Respectable in the Street.” Gender & Society, 38,6: 965-991. https://doi.org/10.1177/08912432241289424.

This article examines how cis and trans women use performances of heterosexuality—such as wearing wedding rings or displaying affection toward men in public—to navigate gender harassment and signal respectability in public spaces. For White, straight, and cisgender women, “doing heterosexuality” serves as a relatively low-cost strategy that provides them with social legitimacy and a degree of insulation from harassment. In contrast, racialized, queer, and trans women often experience greater emotional labor, as their performances of heterosexuality are frequently met with harsher scrutiny and may fail to yield the same social protections or rewards. 

Quizzes

Test your knowledge with the Chapter 8 quizzes!

Quiz

1. 

Heteronormative ideals can be reinforced even in same-sex weddings when traditional gender roles are reproduced.

TRUE

FALSE

None

2. 

The second shift refers to the unpaid domestic labor that many women perform after their paid workday.

FALSE

TRUE

None

3. 

Which of the following supports the idea that wedding is a ritual?

Men assign more importance to a wedding than women do

Wearing a special dress reserved for one occasion

Women assign more importance to a wedding than men do

Its high costs

None

4. 

According to the chapter, love has always been the main reason for marriage in history.

FALSE

TRUE

None

5. 

What is the "wedding industrial complex?"

A multi-billion-dollar industry that includes various wedding-related goods and services

A set of elite services offered for rich celebrities who are getting married

A term for the exploitation of global south dress makers

A legal system governing wedding laws

None

6. 

In the 20th century, the introduction of the engagement ring as a cultural norm was influenced by:

Marketing campaigns by the diamond industry

Legal mandates

Ancient cultural traditions

Church ordinances

None

7. 

The "cult of domesticity" emerged with industrialization and promoted:

Women’s empowerment in the public sphere

Women’s increasing participation in the workforce

The idea that homemaking was a woman’s primary and ideal role

Gender equality in marriage

None

8. 

The ________ refers to the unpaid work, such as caregiving and household chores, typically done by women after their paid employment.

Please select your answer second shift third shift

9. 

Class inequality has little to no effect on marriage and divorce rates in the United States.

FALSE

TRUE

None

10. 

Social reproduction involves only the biological reproduction of the population.

TRUE

FALSE

None

11. 

In the model of the _______, extended family members like grandparents and aunts typically live separately from the immediate family.

Please select your answer nuclear family traditional family

12. 

Who usually performs the “second shift”?

Women in relationships where only the man is employed

Women in relationships where both partners are employed

Women who hold two jobs

Women who do not have young children

None

13. 

The idea of _______ as the basis for marriage became popular during the 19th century.

Please select your answer economic interests romantic love

14. 

The cultural expectation that heterosexual relationships are normal and ideal is referred to as ______

Please select your answer heteronormativity patriarchy

15. 

The “white wedding” dream is widely accepted by people of diverse classes, races, ethnicities, and sexual orientations. This makes it:

hegemonic

conspicuous

excessive

ideological

None

16. 

Most couples in the United States can afford their weddings without financial assistance from family members or loans.

TRUE

FALSE

None

17. 

How has the meaning of marriage changed from pre-modern to modern times?

Marriage today is only for raising children.

Pre-modern marriages were often practical and economic, whereas modern marriages focus more on romantic love.

Marriage used to be based on love, but now it’s mainly for economic reasons.

Modern marriages have shifted toward being religious obligations.

None

18. 

The fact that same-sex marriages were not legal until recently is an example of:

heterosexual privilege

male privilege

hegemonic idea of the white wedding

hegemonic idea of romantic love

None

19. 

What does the concept of "social reproduction" refer to?

The cultural transmission of beliefs

The reproduction of social norms in the workplace

The economic and legal reproduction of family wealth

The financial, physical, and emotional care work that goes into reproducing people on a daily and generational basis

None

20. 

The ________ encourages couples to spend large amounts of money on their wedding day, reinforcing the connection between consumerism and marriage.

Please select your answer patriarchy wedding industrial complex

21. 

The nuclear family became the dominant family structure in many Western societies due to:

A decline in marriage rates.

Legal restrictions on extended family living arrangements.

Industrialization and the separation of work from home life.

The need for large families in farming communities.

None

22. 

Declining birth rates in many economically advanced countries have led to increased reliance on immigration to maintain population levels.

TRUE

FALSE

None

23. 

The wedding industry reinforces the cultural ideal of the white wedding and associated consumption patterns.

FALSE

TRUE

None

Time’s up

Active Learning – Further Online Resources

A feminist wedding?

Read how Maggie Barton Baird (2018), a self-described “feminist wedding planner,” discusses  the challenges of adapting traditional wedding practices to contemporary egalitarian standards. To what extent can weddings, and the institution of marriage more broadly, offer room to challenge existing gender inequalities?

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/edmonton/edmonton-feminist-wedding-1.4624141

Going solo:

Read this NYT opinion piece on living alone. After reading it, would you say that living alone is a bad outcome? What are the pros and cons of living alone? How and why are single people stigmatized in our society? https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/09/opinion/living-alone-single.html

Dating Today:

Read this short essay on the gender divide in contemporary dating, which explores why marriage rates are declining by examining heterosexual women’s dating experiences. What are some reasons that women report difficulty in finding suitable partners? How do these difficulties reflect broader sociological patterns? What role do education and economic stability play in marriage rates? How do gender norms and expectations impact the way men and women approach relationships? https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/11/opinion/marriage-women-men-dating.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Here comes which bride?

Look at a popular wedding website like Brides (https://www.brides.com), The Knot (https://www.theknot.com), or any other relevant website. Conduct a mini-coding exercise where you count the race/ethnicity of the brides depicted across a group of images. Code at least 50 different images, and keep a tally sheet to record their race. Are Whites over-represented in your sample of popular media sources on weddings? How is the “ideal” bride predominantly depicted in these sources?

Flashcards

Refresh your knowledge of key terms with this chapter’s flashcards.