In the following section our authors identify three different constructive conflict behaviors that we can use to resolve conflict in a healthy and competent manner: (a) listening, (b) fair fighting, and (c) managing the physical environment. We start by learning about active listening, which helps us better understand the other person’s perspective. We will naturally have conflict even in our best relationships, but by being able to listen to one another we can learn how to have less conflict, at least in that relationship. Next up is fair fighting, which goes hand in hand with listening. If we want to grow in our relationships, we need to handle conflict with respect to each other. This is important because, like we’ve established, we’ll have conflict in our relationships, but it is how we work through those conflicts that determines the success or rather the happiness of our relationships. Lastly, if we can manage the physical environment then we can soften the conflict, instead of increasing it. For example, when you are upset to do want someone to hug you, or do you need some space? It is best if we can sit in a manner where we can make direct, but nonthreatening eye contact. These three behaviors together can help lessen the conflict and hopefully help your relationship grow overall. For a more detailed description of each behavior, read below for more!
Flashcards
Antagonistic discourses
where one person advocates for one discourse or perspective and another advocates for an opposing discourse
Chilling effect
occurs when a less powerful partner is hesitant to complain or express grievances out of fear that the more powerful partner will use punitive power and respond to the complaint with verbally or physically aggressive messages.
Situational couple violence
occurs when a conflict gets ” out of hand” and leads to one or both partners using ” minor” forms of violence during the dispute
Cross-complaining
involves responding to another person’s complaint or criticism with one of your own while ignoring the other person’s point.
Demand/withdraw pattern
an asymmetrical pattern of behavior in which one partner pressures the other through emotional demands and complaints, while the other retreats through withdrawal, avoidance, and passive inaction
Denial
occurs when an individual claims not to be upset or to have an issue despite sending nonverbal messages that suggest otherwise
Disengagement
happens when members avoid each other and express their hostility through their lack of interaction
Displacement
occurs when a person’s anger is directed to an inappropriate person.
Disqualification
describes situations in which a person expresses anger and then discounts, or disqualifies, the angry reaction
Gunnysacking
which involves storing up grievances against someone and then dumping the whole sack of anger on that person when they pile on the ” last straw.”
Interpersonal conflict
as ” an expressed struggle between at least two interdependent parties, who perceive incompatible goals, scarce resources, and interference from others in achieving their goals.”
Nonantagonistic discourses
although they reflect dialectical contradictions, nevertheless, they do not lead to interpersonal conflict
Pseudomutuality
represents the opposite of disengagement, as it characterizes family members who appear to be perfect and delighted with each other because no hint of discord is ever allowed to dispel their image of perfection
Serial argument
refers to a set of argumentative episodes that focuses on a particular issue and extends over time
