Audio
Boundary Turbulence
Like many people, I love the theory of Communication Privacy Management (CPM) created by Sandra Petronio and explained further in her 2002 book on the theory. I used this theory in my dissertation on positive in-law relationships where I interviewed 36 children-in-laws, who self-identified as having a positive relationship with either their mother or father –in-law, had been married at least 12 months, and were obviously willing to talk with me about their relationship. I found that even though these children-in-laws identified themselves as having positive relationships with their in-laws, they still struggled with boundary turbulence. Most of the time, children-in-laws, stated that the turbulence they experienced was due to issues of privacy disclosures that had been violated. My participants said that one of the ways to “get through” these rough times was by setting clear boundaries at the beginning of their relationship. Most of them had been married closer to 10+ years so they remembered how important it was to create a foundation of honest communication at the beginning, where they could tell their in-laws if they were doing something that was hurtful to them immediately instead of letting it fester. Clearly setting expectations for what is allowed to be done with the private information being shared is crucial when working through disclosures and maintaining positive in-law (and other types of) relationships.
